I’m a dumbass pt. 2
Drunken karate chopping doesn’t always pay off. Just usually.
Robots Throwing Rocks
myspace.com/robotsthrowingrocksArchive for November, 2007
Beer tastes best in the shower.
It cannot be denied. I think if everyone drank beer everytime they showered they would all smell a lot better and be a lot happier.
I call on modern science to invent waterproof cheeze-its and cigarettes. Get on it.
FYI you can roofie a shark by flipping it on it’s back.
This, however, does not work for fat chicks. Don’t ask.
When you flip the shark over it goes into “a trance like state” according to the Animal Channel. This seems really mean to me. Sharks are happiest when they are angry. Have you ever seen a not angry shark? Me either. So listen up you british douchebags. Turn off your cameras and stop flipping over sharks. It’s pissing them off by making them relax. You are all redcoated assholes. Leave the sharks angry and happy.
Also, if anyone knows where I can buy a baby tiger, please let me know. My dog needs a friend and it seems compatible. They are both big, wild, hungry, and kind of stupid in a smart way. [Jen the Zoologist says this is not smart. right. I'm going to listen to THAT]
Baby Bubbles!
So I tried the Bic method of unibrow removal…
So I tried the Bic method of unibrow removal…and now it reeks of burned hair.
So I was sitting at Jen’s house last night, and she made fun of my unibrow hairs growing in. I told a story of one of my friend’s who Bic’d (razor’d) his unibrow with disastrous results.
She took this to mean he Bic’d (lighter’d) his eyebrow.
Which naturally led to me lighting my eyebrow(s) on fire. Now her apartment stinks and I feel bad.
Then my face stunk like burnt hairs so I decided to shower at her place. She had no “man soap” so I had to use the loofah. Of the fifty or so bottles on the shelf only one said “Erotic Coconut”. After rather liberally washing my balls with said aphrodisiac, I took a closer look at the bottle.
Failure! exotic. riiiight.
Overall, it was a pretty good night.